Rehearsal (7-18-11)

Well, more eventful stuff happened while other stuff was going on.  This band is non-stop nitro-fueled action.

It didn't take long for the aforementioned stuff to start happening.  Right after Carissa arrived, she was called away to help a friend. That’s just the kind of gal she is.  Luckily we got a bunch of unflattering pictures of her before she left. (The whole band wishes her friend the very best.)

We got to meet Dong’s Girlfriend. The one who almost killed him with her car before he almost killed himself with his motorcycle. They both almost died of food poisoning in between, but to cover Dong’s full life, it would really take a separate blog and possibly a daily newspaper.

Juan is still missing in action. If anyone has seen the man below, please report it to your nearest musician.

Unfortunately, since Carissa had to leave right at the beginning of rehearsal, I had to sing in her place. Once you hear this recordings, you’ll realize how really unfortunate that was. The band were good sports and stuck out my screeching as I attempted to reach Carissa’s key.

There is no video, due to the fact that I had to sing of key and couldn’t do that and film the band as well.

And without further ado -- the songs.

In the Mornin’ Time – This is coming along pretty well. Luckily, you can’t hear me singing to well. I’m way down in the mix. I have high hopes for this song.

Everyone’s a Cowboy – We’re still playing around with this. I think this arrangement is much closer than last week’s try. We are also going to be doing an acoustic version.



And now!!!!!!!! More captioned pictures.

Shabby Road Studios isn’t named that for nothing.

Jason is suffering from a disease so rare, even he doesn’t have it.

Understandably, Dong’s tongue decides it wants to go live inside her mouth and attempts to hightail it.

Dan tries to decide what he’s going to be arrested for after the rehearsal.

“’Wow! This is the second biggest condom I’ve ever seen. Maybe I’ll stick around this band a little longer.”

“Don’t mess with me Jason. I once kicked an amputee down the stairs with his own leg.”

Whenever the pain in his knee got too much, Dong’s girlfriend runs around him in circles until her skirt falls off.

Almost following the directions, Dan takes two table full’s of Nyquil for his cold.

Dong is only 22, but that’s 105 in driving like a fucking lunatic years.

“Please let the fridge make her nipples go hard. Please let the fridge make her nipple grow hard!”

“I wonder why all the guys keep asking me to get them drinks from the fridge?”

“You know when you get a street beggar’s head right in here and then you squeeze till you hear something go pop. God that’s great!”

"Yikes! And I thought he was ugly with his pants on!"

Christmas Comes in July

Every time I get mixes from Daniel K., in Minnesota, it’s like Christmas. (Plus, Dong didn’t crash his motorcycle today.) And Santa has finally shit for Discount Romance. The songs from our first day at Mysterious Mammal Studios have come back. These are very rough mixes and don’t have final vocals or full instrumentation, but they do show the songs coming together.

Another rehearsal of the new song tonight. Things are getting exciting, boys and girls!

This is our very own Santa Clause, Daniel K. from the fine state of Minnesota. Daniel has been mixing for my bands for several years now and his contribution both for mixing and playing on tracks, can’t be overstated. Discount Romance, Don’t Tell Betsy and Death of the Author Brigade all owe him a huge debt of gratitude.

So, without further ado, here are the first three songs in all their rough-mixed charm.

Pop Song – This song even has Carissa counting out the phrases at the end of the song, so the band doesn’t lose its place. That’s how rough these mixes are.

Goodbye – The vocals are a little anemic on this track in spots. Carissa was having vocal problems when we recorded this and had to sing in the control room because Dong was in the isolation booth with the acoustic guitar. When we get the final vocal on this sucker, it’s going to be a thousand times better. It also needs a little more instrumental punch. (That’s Dan adding some vocals to the chorus!)

Carrie’s Got a Lover – Probably turned out the best of the first 3 tunes. Daniel did some very nice effects on the voice. It also took the least amount of time to record. Some songs just have a charmed life.

More Stupidly Captioned Pics!!

“Please Lord. Give Dong a break and let him live. At least until we get through the next three songs.”

If anyone knows the whereabouts of this man, we’re a little worried. He hasn’t been seen at his instrument in weeks.

“Nobody knows I’m drunk on my ass.  I'm fooling everyone.  Nobody know I’m drunk on my ass.”

“Hey, I’m polishing my manifesto. Is firing squad one word or two?”

“So, what’s it like to be so old. I mean, like, do you even remember who I am? Can you even hear me?”

Dan practices Nighttime Song while Kent jumps up and down maniacally on a neighborhood orphan.

“I’ve in the hospital three times since I joined this band. Why the fuck am I smiling? ”

“I use the cleavage, heavy binder method to communicate with the rest of the band. I say something and when they look down at my cleavage , I hit them in the head with this binder.”

“Man, that binder really hurt! I have a headache, now.”

“It’s simple Dong, you hit the right chord and I take my boot off your neck. Now, you can’t get much fairer that?

Dan tries to peek and see if he’s on Kent’s “Enemies to be Dealt With List.”

Rehearsal (7-15-11)

Well, in defiance of Carmageddon, Discount Romance were back at it in Shabby Road Studios on Friday night.

And Dong was back at it during the week. Another motorcycle crash and another trip to the hospital. Apparently, he hit some oil at a stop light and went down. He could actually see his leg bone where his skin used to be! I’m guessing his jeans weren’t in very good shape either.

Luckily for us, Dong was foolish enough to remove his leg brace so he could drive to rehearsal.

Jason had a gig and could not make it. We set up this little humble little tribute, in his memory.

Juan was again missing. This time in San Francisco. This is a picture of what we think we kind of remember him looking like.

Maria’s food was once again consumed with great alacrity. Even Carissa couldn’t resist a piece or two. 

A great story:

They towed Dong’s bike off while he was on his way to the hospital. That leaves our poor college student with 285 bucks in fees for towing and impounding. Plus, if you leave it with the city while you try and raise the money, they charge you by the day for keeping it against your will. Dong put up a question about it on a Harley site and people, out of the blue, donated all the money he needed to get his bike back. (Well, what’s left of his bike back.)
So there is still some kindness left in the world. (much to Kent’s chagrin!)

Stay tuned for the further adventures of our very own Evel Knievel.

We rehearsed three songs but only got two down on video. Everyone’s a Cowboy is still going through the discussion stage. We’re thinking of doing a very spare acoustic version and another, more aggressive version.

In the Mornin’ Time – This got off to a pretty good start. Unfortunatley, that’s all there was. A start.



In the Mornin’ Time – This time we managed to get through the whole song! This is there first time we’d played this and I think it’s coming along great. There’s a lot of nice playing and singing on this. When we get Juan and Jason in on the act, I predict world domination.



And here is the one-mic wonder version of the song.



Nighttime Song – This is one of our prettier tunes. Carissa says it’s her favorite of this batch. She sure sings it purty!



And now…More captioned pictures!!!!

Before we start any rehearsal, Carissa reaches for her throat spray and her Taser.

In order to get as much as possible out of our rehearsals, Dan urinates right where he is and keeps on playing.

Carissa rehearses for her first drunk and disorderly bust. We all know it’s coming.

This maybe all that’s left of Dong, by the time we finish the album.

If the boys do a really nice take of a song, Carissa likes to give them a quick glimpse of “The Monster”.

“No Kent, let Dong our of your guitar case this minute!”

If the Coca Cola company is watching, you can buy our enthusiastic endorsement of your product.  Or, we're also willing to sell you Dan, outright. 

Kent has been bummed since childhood that they didn’t shoot Old Yeller earlier in the movie.

“I’m so sorry Dong, we thought that stuff was toppings for the pizza. We didn’t realize they were bits of your knee.”

Luckily, Kent concluded that his mic stand wasn’t sturdy enough to beat Dan unconscious with.

Dong plays guitar like there’s no tomorrow. And with him, he could be right.

This reminds Carissa of a blind date she once had with Ron Artest.

“Whoa! No wonder that stuff was so expensive.”

“I wonder which one of those fuckers has been licking my house keys.”

Luckily, Shabby Road Studios is equipped with an elevator. We may have to think about getting defibrillators and an iron lung if Dong keeps this up.

Carissa can always identify who used her microphone last by tasting it.

Kent is a very traditional guy. When he gets married, he plans to carry his wife over the pain threshold.

Dan often day dreams of a far-off land where women wear bikinis made out of sweet potato pie.

Dong is on painkillers the size of Jeff Goldblum’s head.

“See, all this agreement says is, I’m allowed to take off all your clothes, and tie you to my refrigerator door. It’s really pretty straight forward.”

“Well, maybe Kent will sign it.”

Dong looks over at Carissa and wonders if she’d lend him some of her knee-skin.

It doesn’t look like it.

After a few beers, there’s nothing Carissa likes to do more than throw up on her own hair.