Mysterious Mammal Studios (7-3-11)

Well, we were all pretty fucking tired after yesterday’s workload but everyone showed up on time. Kent picked up some pastries and one little piece of cherry filled confectionary caught our eye. (More on this in a later blog)

The Mr. Submarine sandwiches went down well but I was surprised how little free beer the band drank. They’ll never get anywhere in the music business, if they’re going to take their duties that seriously. Did I mention it was free?

Dan’s forearms, luckily, held up.

Dong didn’t have anymore toilet mishaps. Well, ones that he will admit to.

Carissa had even had a little time to skip out and buy some shoes for a July 4th party. I’m trying to remember the last time I had to run out for a pair of shoes so I could attend a party. Has any guy ever run out to buy party shoes?

After the long day, I grabbed everyone and shot some video for Dong’s promo.

My car even started.

And now ladies and gentlemen…the songs.

They Have Laid Me Down – This was a toughie. Over four hours to get the bedtrack. Tempers flared. Finally, cooler heads prevailed and we managed to get it done. It has quite a ways to go before it’s finished but I think the core of the song is there.



Carissa’s Song – My little tribute to the most diminutive member of our band. Or almost any band. The lead at the end is not there but Carissa’s little “Yeahas” etc. more than make up for it.



The Road To Hannah – This seems to be Dong’s favorite song. I think it would be the single if there was such a thing as singles today. I’m really looking forward to when the is finished. I’m extremely lucky that I’m such a bonehead when it comes to American geography. (another song that Matt said he liked…swoon)

“C’mon Carissa. We’re bandmates. Let me see just one of them.”

Too much fun was being had and Kent was forced to declare Martial Law. The whereabouts of some of the band members is still unknown.

Dong hits a note so bad, he temporarily goes blind in one eye.

“Gosh everyone, how about we try and play a good old fashioned Polka!?”

Carissa practices here “Don’t Fucking Mess With Me” look for the Paparazzi, when she leaves the studio.

“Whoa!  I just remembered where I put that Fudgesickle down!”

Jason gets his legendary drum sound by personally chewing his cymbals to the consistency of moccasins.

Jason gets really excited as Dan gets ready to show introduce him to Artie, his 17 foot pet tape worm.

“Wow! How’s Harry Potter ever going to get out of that sticky pickle?”

The classic rock penis pose as performed by Dong.

Whether in Puerto Rico or the United States, Juan doesn’t travel anywhere without his friend and lover, Waldo, the Imaginary Bunny.

“I wonder if sound can’t travel through a vacuum, how come vacuum cleaners are so darned noisy?”

Jason was named official guardian of the sandwich platter and took his job very, very seriously.

All three of these men are staring at Carissa’s ass through their highly developed peripheral vision.

There’s nothing Dong likes better, after laying down a successful track, than to bark like a dolphin.

Jason dreams of a world where all butternut squash tastes like ice cream.

At one point during the weekend, Dong accidentally dropped his brain onto the floor.

“Man, only 38 cents to Garrote someone. The cheese-wire costs more than that!”

We would like to take this opportunity to categorically state that there is no way that Dong eats the first born children of couples who accidentally get too close to the stage. There was that one time that he tripped and fell mouth first onto a baby’s head, but it was an isolated incident.

“Jesus Christ! Turn around Dong. I’m being sucked into an alternative universe! “

“Do not sucker punch the engineer. Do not sucker punch the engineer! Damn this is hard!”

Mid-solo nap time.

“Just a quick one of these and that fucking nun was D-E-A- dead”

This might not be the official Discount Romance band photo...unless Kent makes us.

Rehearsal (6-29-11)

Well, tonight was a trial. Juan had a job interview (good luck by the way) and Carissa was off enjoying herself at a Neil Gammon reading, while the rest of us were left to soldier on. Through shear iron-willed determination and the strength of demi-gods, we were able to pull this rehearsal whole thing off.

Dan was the sport of the year and volunteered to step in for the enjoying-herself Carissa on vocals as well as manning the bass.  He went through pure hell, I can tell you.

Kent was beside himself all evening.

Maria’s Pizza was once again consumed. The barbecued chicken has taken their taste buds by storm. The band highly recommends this product and would not be averse to a lucrative sponsorship deal or being featured in highly paid television commercials for the restaurant.

Many thanks to Dong for bringing along his super deluxe camera, which I shot most of the video with.

Trampoline Song – Kent pointed out last night that about 4 of our next recordable songs have the word “Song” in them. A Discount Romance theme or eccentricity? Perhaps I’ll have to look into title tweaking. Excuse Dan from just repeating the first verse in the second verse. Also, notice how deftly Jason handles a dropped drumstick, midsong.



The Trampoline Song as heard on the night. (one of now the famous “Song” titled songs)

Even though she wasn’t there tonight, we still have this picture of how we remember her best….at Mystery Mammal Studios, licking a guitar.

Carissa’s Song – We have a new high-kickin’ ending which is very much on display. The sound ain’t great, but hey, it’s being recorded by a fucking camera.



Here is our one-mic wonder of Carissa’s Song. This “Song” titling thing isn’t an obsession. I can’t stop any time I want. Honest.



I Know It’s Only Love – This is the song that keeps getting pushed back in the schedule. No more!!! It will meet its musical maker on Saturday.



You will have to pardon us for the paucity of pulchritude, in these pictures. Rock and roll isn’t always pretty. Tonight, we proved it.

Luckily, Kent still had alcohol to fall back on.  Literally.

Kent’s new nickname in the band is El Presidente.  Well, that’s what he has demanded we start calling him...or else.

Dong shows off his “Don’t Fuck With Me, Motherfuckers” look. He’s been working on it for quite some time.

Dan is still trying to figure out which is his most photogenic side.

We discovered last night, quite by accident that Jason is, in reality, a demonic drum playing robot from a distant galaxy.

Dan’s forearm-curing meds are just fucking wonderful. Thank you for asking.

It’s harder than you’d think, to resist puncturing someone’s ear drum with the tuning head of your bass guitar.

There’s nothing that puts Dong to sleep quicker than hitting an F# minor. It’s really hampered his career as a musician.

Kent peruses the 75 page, trickily worded, Discount Romance contract.

Rehearsal (6-26-11) The Videos!

It was a miraculous and almost unique occurrence in Sherman Oaks. The whole of Discount Romance actually made a rehearsal! No one was in hospital, a car wreck or a far off Caribbean island. Yes, we’re finally back on track. Well, we’d better be, because we’re booked into Mystery Mammal Studios this weekend! Two days to lay down as many tracks as possible with our game but ailing singer.

Carissa’s voice is still a little unreliable, though she is going to a vocal coach this Wednesday to figure out what the fuck she is doing wrong.

We tried to go over as many songs as possible, because Juan had a lot of stuff to catch up on.

Thanks to my Father’s Day present, we have plenty of pictures and actual VIDEO of the rehearsal. Yes, in our spectacular and unprecedented effort to include our beloved audience in every fucking second of our brutally painful but ultimately, dazzlingly beautiful birthing process, we are going beyond mere pictures (Carissa won’t pose naked for them anyway) and we’re giving you actual moving pictures of people who sing and play actual songs. This is like getting to see the Beatles when Paul brings in Yesterday and everyone has to figure out what the fuck they’re going to play. This is massive stuff, dear audience. You can’t put a price on this kind of musical transparency…though we’re sure going to try.

Before we dive headlong into the borderline classic tunes though, and we most assuredly will do that, we thought it would be and instructive exercise to get an in depth and provocative interview with the lead singer of Discount Romance. What is she like? What has she got to tell the world? What is behind that pretty face and those amazing tonsils? We think you’ll be shock and amazed at the results. We ripped the skin off and played with the interviewees spiritual entrails in the startling footage. No punches were pulled and no musical stone was left unturned. Those who are overly sensitive to raw and unflinching truth may wish to avert their eyes.

Plus, what is Carissa’s main desire in life? What gets her up and going in the morning? I think that burning question has been answered in this little snippet of video. Hold onto your overly baggy pants boys and girls, you maybe very surprised by the musical answer.



No One Loves Me – This is starting to come along. The first time they played it, I almost shat, it sounded so horrible. The vibe was eventually found though, and I’m looking forwards to hearing the end product. (Which will be available on Amazon, I-tunes and a quality download store near you!)



More Video!!

Here are the boys, (Kent, Dan and Juan) working on the arrangement for No One Loves Me. This basically consists of Kent and Dan working on bits and Juan nodding his head and wishing they’d get the fuck on with it so he could start playing.



Here is a brilliantly photographed but partial video taken of this song. (Who knew that the video would soak up 700mg of space on my card for about 2 and a half minutes of song)



Sweet Leaf – This is going to be a rollicking goodtime song. Anyone who has ever sampled marijuana, or even smelled it at a rock concert, should rush to their computer and purchase this song as soon as it’s available. Notice how this blog has taken a slight step towards the hardnosed, commercial aspect of the music business?



The Road To Hannah – Really liking how this is developing. Pardon Carissa’s major, major flub of the lyrics about half way through. You’ll hardly even notice it. The hobo looking gentlemen playing guitar next to Carissa is our very own Kent.



Here is the one-mic wonder recording of Road To Hannah for those who don’t want to be distracted with the amazing cinematography and glitzy and unnecessary special effect employed in the video.



Carissa’s Song – This was the first time the band had attempted this song, and since we’re recording it in a studio less than a week, probably a good thing that we finally got around to it. It is rough here, but things are starting to develop. It has to be good, it’s named after our lead singer, for Christ sakes. The vocals are a little low, hey, this was shot on a camera the size of a cigarette box.



For those who’d like to actually hear what Carissa is signing, here is a slightly better recording.