Christmas Comes in July

Every time I get mixes from Daniel K., in Minnesota, it’s like Christmas. (Plus, Dong didn’t crash his motorcycle today.) And Santa has finally shit for Discount Romance. The songs from our first day at Mysterious Mammal Studios have come back. These are very rough mixes and don’t have final vocals or full instrumentation, but they do show the songs coming together.

Another rehearsal of the new song tonight. Things are getting exciting, boys and girls!

This is our very own Santa Clause, Daniel K. from the fine state of Minnesota. Daniel has been mixing for my bands for several years now and his contribution both for mixing and playing on tracks, can’t be overstated. Discount Romance, Don’t Tell Betsy and Death of the Author Brigade all owe him a huge debt of gratitude.

So, without further ado, here are the first three songs in all their rough-mixed charm.

Pop Song – This song even has Carissa counting out the phrases at the end of the song, so the band doesn’t lose its place. That’s how rough these mixes are.

Goodbye – The vocals are a little anemic on this track in spots. Carissa was having vocal problems when we recorded this and had to sing in the control room because Dong was in the isolation booth with the acoustic guitar. When we get the final vocal on this sucker, it’s going to be a thousand times better. It also needs a little more instrumental punch. (That’s Dan adding some vocals to the chorus!)

Carrie’s Got a Lover – Probably turned out the best of the first 3 tunes. Daniel did some very nice effects on the voice. It also took the least amount of time to record. Some songs just have a charmed life.

More Stupidly Captioned Pics!!

“Please Lord. Give Dong a break and let him live. At least until we get through the next three songs.”

If anyone knows the whereabouts of this man, we’re a little worried. He hasn’t been seen at his instrument in weeks.

“Nobody knows I’m drunk on my ass.  I'm fooling everyone.  Nobody know I’m drunk on my ass.”

“Hey, I’m polishing my manifesto. Is firing squad one word or two?”

“So, what’s it like to be so old. I mean, like, do you even remember who I am? Can you even hear me?”

Dan practices Nighttime Song while Kent jumps up and down maniacally on a neighborhood orphan.

“I’ve in the hospital three times since I joined this band. Why the fuck am I smiling? ”

“I use the cleavage, heavy binder method to communicate with the rest of the band. I say something and when they look down at my cleavage , I hit them in the head with this binder.”

“Man, that binder really hurt! I have a headache, now.”

“It’s simple Dong, you hit the right chord and I take my boot off your neck. Now, you can’t get much fairer that?

Dan tries to peek and see if he’s on Kent’s “Enemies to be Dealt With List.”

Discount Romance – More Video – More Unprecedented Splendor

For those of you who want more, more, more of your favorite band in the studio, here it is! Access like this has never been known in the history of recorded music. We give and we give and you are the lucky recipients.

Here is Carissa doing an In-Studio promo for Discount Romance. (sure she got the name of the studio wrong, but hey, she was really drunk)



Some of you may wonder how on Earth we get such professional quality camera work on our assorted videos. I can assure you, that it is not accident. Many, many man hours (or woman hours as the case may be) are put into giving you, the MP3 buying public, the very best picture and sound that is available. This little video will bring home the lengths we go to.



Get ready folks! This is fucking mesmerizing. Discount Romance like you’ve never seen them. This is hot, fast, take-no-prisoners, studio action. This is unprecedented, grab-you-by-the-balls, high intensity mayhem at its most raw. These guys cook on a scale that is Sun hot. This is like the musical version of a Michael Bay film. Hold onto your fucking hats when you watch this sucker!

“I wonder if there would be any market for a combination marital arts and guitar playing called “Dong-Fu”?

Kent gets prepares himself for his favorite post-recording ritual. “Burying the Witnesses”.

Recording became tough when Mysterious Mammal studios was overcome by a swarm of floating, radioactive eggs.

Dan is sure that if he sprayed his entire body with Scotch-Guard, he’d never have to bathe again.

Juan, the most religious member of Discount Romance, prays three hours each morning and night that one day, Brian Doyle Murray will face a firing squad of masturbating chimpanzees.

There is no funny caption to this picture.  Those sure are a nice pair of legs though, aren't they?

Dong didn’t know the difference between Groupies and Groupon and once had a ménage et trios with two jars of discount organic face-cream.

Jason thinks bacon is perfect in every way. It can be eaten and also used to wrap gifts.

Juan is a sandwich-aterian. He’ll eat absolutely anything if it’s between two slices of bread.  Here, he's chowing down on some of Carissa's out-of-date swimwear. 

“Yep, that last burrito was a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig mistake.”

Sharing a studio bathroom with five male musicians can scar a girl for life.

Kent tries to decide, if he were stranded on a desert island, which of his band mates he would eat first.

In the studio, Dong’s attire makes I hard to tell whether he’s playing guitar or hunting for ducks.

There’s nothing Dan likes better, after a hard day at the studio, than begging Carissa to perform an unnatural sex act.

Kent loves both his axes. This axe for playing delicate and beautiful ballads and the other one he has in his truck for dismembering drifters.

During the weekend in the studio, Carissa was able to triple her collection of photographs of vomiting musicians.

Quite by accident, the band discovered that the only way to get El Presidente to smile was to glue a big brown square to the back of his ear.

Mysterious Mammal Studios (7-3-11)

Well, we were all pretty fucking tired after yesterday’s workload but everyone showed up on time. Kent picked up some pastries and one little piece of cherry filled confectionary caught our eye. (More on this in a later blog)

The Mr. Submarine sandwiches went down well but I was surprised how little free beer the band drank. They’ll never get anywhere in the music business, if they’re going to take their duties that seriously. Did I mention it was free?

Dan’s forearms, luckily, held up.

Dong didn’t have anymore toilet mishaps. Well, ones that he will admit to.

Carissa had even had a little time to skip out and buy some shoes for a July 4th party. I’m trying to remember the last time I had to run out for a pair of shoes so I could attend a party. Has any guy ever run out to buy party shoes?

After the long day, I grabbed everyone and shot some video for Dong’s promo.

My car even started.

And now ladies and gentlemen…the songs.

They Have Laid Me Down – This was a toughie. Over four hours to get the bedtrack. Tempers flared. Finally, cooler heads prevailed and we managed to get it done. It has quite a ways to go before it’s finished but I think the core of the song is there.



Carissa’s Song – My little tribute to the most diminutive member of our band. Or almost any band. The lead at the end is not there but Carissa’s little “Yeahas” etc. more than make up for it.



The Road To Hannah – This seems to be Dong’s favorite song. I think it would be the single if there was such a thing as singles today. I’m really looking forward to when the is finished. I’m extremely lucky that I’m such a bonehead when it comes to American geography. (another song that Matt said he liked…swoon)

“C’mon Carissa. We’re bandmates. Let me see just one of them.”

Too much fun was being had and Kent was forced to declare Martial Law. The whereabouts of some of the band members is still unknown.

Dong hits a note so bad, he temporarily goes blind in one eye.

“Gosh everyone, how about we try and play a good old fashioned Polka!?”

Carissa practices here “Don’t Fucking Mess With Me” look for the Paparazzi, when she leaves the studio.

“Whoa!  I just remembered where I put that Fudgesickle down!”

Jason gets his legendary drum sound by personally chewing his cymbals to the consistency of moccasins.

Jason gets really excited as Dan gets ready to show introduce him to Artie, his 17 foot pet tape worm.

“Wow! How’s Harry Potter ever going to get out of that sticky pickle?”

The classic rock penis pose as performed by Dong.

Whether in Puerto Rico or the United States, Juan doesn’t travel anywhere without his friend and lover, Waldo, the Imaginary Bunny.

“I wonder if sound can’t travel through a vacuum, how come vacuum cleaners are so darned noisy?”

Jason was named official guardian of the sandwich platter and took his job very, very seriously.

All three of these men are staring at Carissa’s ass through their highly developed peripheral vision.

There’s nothing Dong likes better, after laying down a successful track, than to bark like a dolphin.

Jason dreams of a world where all butternut squash tastes like ice cream.

At one point during the weekend, Dong accidentally dropped his brain onto the floor.

“Man, only 38 cents to Garrote someone. The cheese-wire costs more than that!”

We would like to take this opportunity to categorically state that there is no way that Dong eats the first born children of couples who accidentally get too close to the stage. There was that one time that he tripped and fell mouth first onto a baby’s head, but it was an isolated incident.

“Jesus Christ! Turn around Dong. I’m being sucked into an alternative universe! “

“Do not sucker punch the engineer. Do not sucker punch the engineer! Damn this is hard!”

Mid-solo nap time.

“Just a quick one of these and that fucking nun was D-E-A- dead”

This might not be the official Discount Romance band photo...unless Kent makes us.