The Demos #7

Well, this is an exciting time for the band. The new single and video is coming out within the week and Dong is working on a new promo video for it as I type this. That’s the good news. The other new is, I have…brand new demos! Yes, another collection of shittily recorded and excrementally sung tunes by yours truly.

Maybe I’m In Love – I had a piece of this tune an some lyrics lying around forever. There were parts I really like about it, but something wasn’t quite right. I revisited it the other day, and reworked the lyrics, put a new chorus on it and now it’s a demo. Lucky you.

Leave The Rest To Me – I really like this tune. My lovely and talented wife (after getting over her initial umbrage at the lyrical content) has decided that it is one of her favorites among my tunes. Phew! This one was written over a couple of days. Maybe the words took me a little longer. Sometimes, they just fall into place and sometimes they torture you for weeks.



So keep an eye out for our real song, played by real musicians and sung by a real girl singer! They’re way better quality and Discount Romance tunes will be flowing very soon.

Plus, we'll be going back into the Sanctuary Studios very soon to do the final vocals on Road to Hannay.  Yeehaw! 

Plus Dong is working on a brand new promo video.  If this were anymore exciting we'd have to put towels down on the studio floor.

And of course…More Captioned Pics!

“It's okay Dong, you can come out. The big, bad, crabbie Kent is gone now and only the really friendly, smiling, nice Kent is left. Do you hear me you Goddamn, Asian motherfucker!?”

“Now, how the fuck did he get out of there?”

Dan tries to figure out why he can’t get the internet on the organic chocolate bar he just bought.

Mid-song, Dong begins to wonder, “If Hare Krishna’s take a vow of poverty, how they can afford to eat at the airport?”

Carissa is singing about men but thinking about peanut butter cups. Mmmmmmm.

“Remember Dan? People who don’t forget to bring donuts, don’t get their necks stepped on? Now let’s move on to what happens when people forget to bring the coffee as well!”

“You know, if you stick your finger in your ear like this? You can hear the sound of the sea poking a guy’s eye out.”

Much to his dismay, the X-ray peripheral-vision contacts Dan bought are not bearing much boob-fruit.

“Ooooh, look at all these neat knobs and dials. I wonder what will happen if I push these up like this? WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

At least once a day, Carissa takes time out of her busy schedule to count her birth control pills.

“See that amp? I got it off a dead guy. Well…he’s dead now.”

While singing harmonies on Sweet Leaf, Dan suddenly gets a horrific flashback to a war he wasn’t even in.

Inbetween takes, Carissa and Kent time a moment to pray while Dan remembers a catfish he once caught.

“I don’t care how much that looks like a microphone. Put it back where it belongs.”

Laugh and the world laughs with you…but laugh like this and you’ve just barfed in your hat.

“Just as I thought. According to this, I’m 38 ½ percent cuter than the next guy in the band.”

“I can’t believe that little fucker is 38 ½ percent cuter than me.”

“I don’t get it, if Juan is the cute one, Dong is the impish Asian, Kent is El Presidente and Carissa is the sexy, adorable singer, who are “Fuck Teeth” and “Shit Boy?”

“Good job I fucked up my knee. If I’d have fucked up my arm, I would have needed a Singapore Sling.”

Dan's Mixes - #2

It’s Christmas in July once more! I received three mixes from Minnesota from Discount Romance’s second trip into Mystery Mammal Studios.

Daniel K. has done it again. Although, these are very rough mixes, because more instruments are going to be added, there’s an uptick in quality that brings a smile to a songwriter’s lips.

And not a moment too soon. Discount Romance will be back in the studio for final vocals on two songs. (Though, this time it will be Barry Fasman’s wonderful Sanctuary Sound. Don’t Tell Betsy has recorded all of their vocals with Mr. Fasman and he hasn’t let us down yet.)

And now the songs.

I Know It’s Only Love – The album opener. Keep in mind, these are all scratch vocals from an ailing singer. Carissa is getting much better and I’m really looking forward to getting to the next stage with these tunes. This was recorded on during out Saturday session.



The Road To Hannah – Because of the acoustic guitar, this was recorded on Sunday. Carissa sang this on a stool in the control room while Kent hogged the iso-booth with his delicate strumming. People seem to really like this song. Could it be our first hit???



Sweet Leaf – Our ode to pot the its habitués. We’ll be doing vocals for this come Sunday. The flip side to our first single. (Though, there are no flip sides anymore are there? Shame.)



Carrie’s Got A Lover – This is a mix with extra keys added by Death of the Author Brigade’s very own, Aaron T. We’re very thankful for his contribution to the song. This will be the first song finished and available for sale by Discount Romance. We’re recording the vocals on Sunday, so get your wallet’s ready!



And Now…..More Captioned Pictures!!!!

Because of Dong’s pain meds, he will occasionally drift off mid-song and dream he is in the Alps, wearing alfalfa underwear, trying to get Tyrolean goats to nibble at his testicles.

It’s sometimes very hard to be the only person in a band who’s a girl. It’s also very hard to be the only person in a band who’s wearing clothes.

Kent tells his favorite joke about a guy behind a Chinese restaurant having dumpster sex with a pig carcass.

Jason and Dan wait patiently for Carissa to drop something.

Kent looks down and notices he has drifter entrails stuck to the bottom of his shoe again.

It is a sad fact: The further you are back in the band, the harder it is to see down Carissa’s top when she bends over.

Dong hopes to, one day, have his severed knee bits in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame next to Michael Jackson’s nose parts and most of Eddie Van Halen’s tongue.

Dan holds his guitar like he holds a woman. That’s why most of his girlfriends need serious chiropractic therapy.

“Ewww! Somebody has written “Marry Me,” on my lyric sheet in licked-barbecue-chicken bits.”

Kent leaves rehearsal for an undisclosed Central American country that has some pesky democracy lovers.

Carissa helps copy out sections of Kent’s manifesto. Right now she’s working on a chapter called “When to Pull Out the Anus Blender.”

Jason tries to decide whether to have another beer first or throw up all over his drums right away.

Dan’s first experiment with a Thai Stick suppository was not a happy one.

“Dear guys: Having a lot of fun here in the States but if I do end up dead, it’s because I got Dong to drive me home.”