Dan’s Big Excellent Summer Vacation

As you may or may not know, Dan has been missing from our numbers for the last week or so. He has been in Virginia…well, Mexico, but he went to Virginia to get there. We thought we’d keep you up-to-date on his vacation exploits and how the band is coping in his absence.

So the monkey says, “I don’t know what it is, Doc. It started out as a wart on my ass.”

“I know you miss Dan terribly, Carissa. If it will help, I could wear his favorite hat and drink a lot of beer.”

“I miss Dan so much. He’s been gone so long. Hmmmmm. I wonder if his girlfriend is getting lonely?”

“How come I never get to travel to a third world country that’s in desperate need of an iron-fisted leader who knows no mercy?”

“Hmmm. I think her name started with a letter…”

Dan earned a little extra holiday money while in Mexico by becoming a male forearm-prostitute for rich gay monkeys.

Since Dan is out of the country, Carissa decided to eat everything that was in the bottom of his guitar case.

Dan found out that being robbed, beaten and left for dead isn’t just something that happens to him in Hollywood.

Dong’s been singing the blues since he left.
“We really miss you, Danny
As the days and weeks, they pass
Smuggle us back some marijuana
Just don’t hide it up your ass….”

“Wow, it’s so weird, trying to sing without someone constantly staring at my boobs with his tongue hanging out.”

This is how we all like to remember Dan. Drunk out of his mind a picking and fight with his own bass guitar.

“I’m just saying, things are a little up in the air right now with Dan gone. The only way to restore any kind of order is to declare martial law. I just need you to create a diversion while I beat the back of everyone’s knees with a pipe wrench.”

While relaxing on the beach, Dan spent a lot of time shading himself under one of Tina Turner’s old wigs.

This was the last place Dan was seen alive.

But luckily, he did suddenly reappear 24 hours later.

“What do you mean Dan’s in Mexico? I was just going to show him my luscious downy milk mountains. Oh well”

“Come back to us Dan. We miss you!”

Here is Discount Romance’s very first single and video. Now available on I-Tunes and Amazon!




This is their promo video.

Click this for their blog with news, demos, videos and goofy-captioned pictures of the band.

Don’t Tell Betsy’s latest single.



Here is the latest Death of the Author Brigade video.

Simple Song


And here’s the latest song by Death of the Author Brigade:

'Boy Next Door' is a bouncy little tune about a girl taking "Being Neighborly" to the next level. Who lives across the lawn from you?



And here is Don’t Tell Betsy’s latest video. Enjoy the spectacle.

Discount Romance – Carrie’s Got A Lover

Well, it’s finally happened! Discount Romance has released its very first single. The bedtrack was recorded at Mystery Mammal Studios, the vocals were done at Sanctuary Entertainment Studios and overdubs at The House of Kent in Hollywood.

Dong, Dan, Jason, Kent, Juan and Carissa would also offer a special thank you to Dan K. for his brilliant mixing job and Aaron for the extra keyboard tracks.

The video was put together by Dong.

I would like to point out that no female singers were hurt in the making of the music video. Give it a listen and if you like it, for God’s sake pass it on to your friends!



And now…..More stupid Captioned Pics!

"I'm miffed.  When I signed onto this band, I was promised a fine array of sandwiches."

“Who wrote “Lick this and win a prize” on my microphone?”

Dan’s favorite perfume is Eau de Corona.

When it comes to playing the guitar, Kent stands alone. That’s because, if you get anywhere near him, he will bean you with his Epiphone.

“Whoa! There’s no way I should have had that last, sinfully sweet Little Debbie Cake.

“The next guy who cracks wise about me being a lumberjack and being okay is going to get a mouth full of tuning pegs. Capische?”

“Oh Kent’s a lumberjack and he’s OKAYYYYYYY!”

“I just can’t decide which is my favorite furry woodland creature. There all so cute. What’s your favorite woodland creature, Kent?”

“Fuck off, you little shit!”

What Carissa doesn’t know is…never mind, it’s way, way to gross to even bring up. Ewwwwwww!

Dan hits that perfect moment of head-swirling drunkenness. Three minutes from when this pic was taken, he was vomiting into his own underwear.

“Everybody hates me. But what I really want is for everyone to hate and fear me.”

“How’s that even possible, that he’s puking in his own underwear? Oh God, now he’s barfing in Dong’s underwear.”

Jason spots a cockroach walking towards him carrying a trouser-ladder and a saw.

Kent continues to work on his manifesto: “And the meek shall know not peace and the disobedient will know not their heads.”

Dan closes his eyes so he can dream about walking into Carissa’s room and seeing her naked.

Carissa closes her eyes so she can dream about putting on some clothes before Dan gets there.

“And those who sing songs about lumberjacks will be especially punished.”

“Shit man, what’s a guy got to do to get his unflattering picture and an insulting caption put in this fucking blog?

Dong is one drunken, ugly motherfucker.

?

“Finally! Was that so hard?”

“Maybe I’m just too cute to say nasty things about?”

“You see the shit a girl has got to put up with to be in a band with a super bad-ass new single?”

This is the very first Discount Romance promo video. It’s now a classic collector’s item worth thousands of dollars.

Christmas Comes in July

Every time I get mixes from Daniel K., in Minnesota, it’s like Christmas. (Plus, Dong didn’t crash his motorcycle today.) And Santa has finally shit for Discount Romance. The songs from our first day at Mysterious Mammal Studios have come back. These are very rough mixes and don’t have final vocals or full instrumentation, but they do show the songs coming together.

Another rehearsal of the new song tonight. Things are getting exciting, boys and girls!

This is our very own Santa Clause, Daniel K. from the fine state of Minnesota. Daniel has been mixing for my bands for several years now and his contribution both for mixing and playing on tracks, can’t be overstated. Discount Romance, Don’t Tell Betsy and Death of the Author Brigade all owe him a huge debt of gratitude.

So, without further ado, here are the first three songs in all their rough-mixed charm.

Pop Song – This song even has Carissa counting out the phrases at the end of the song, so the band doesn’t lose its place. That’s how rough these mixes are.

Goodbye – The vocals are a little anemic on this track in spots. Carissa was having vocal problems when we recorded this and had to sing in the control room because Dong was in the isolation booth with the acoustic guitar. When we get the final vocal on this sucker, it’s going to be a thousand times better. It also needs a little more instrumental punch. (That’s Dan adding some vocals to the chorus!)

Carrie’s Got a Lover – Probably turned out the best of the first 3 tunes. Daniel did some very nice effects on the voice. It also took the least amount of time to record. Some songs just have a charmed life.

More Stupidly Captioned Pics!!

“Please Lord. Give Dong a break and let him live. At least until we get through the next three songs.”

If anyone knows the whereabouts of this man, we’re a little worried. He hasn’t been seen at his instrument in weeks.

“Nobody knows I’m drunk on my ass.  I'm fooling everyone.  Nobody know I’m drunk on my ass.”

“Hey, I’m polishing my manifesto. Is firing squad one word or two?”

“So, what’s it like to be so old. I mean, like, do you even remember who I am? Can you even hear me?”

Dan practices Nighttime Song while Kent jumps up and down maniacally on a neighborhood orphan.

“I’ve in the hospital three times since I joined this band. Why the fuck am I smiling? ”

“I use the cleavage, heavy binder method to communicate with the rest of the band. I say something and when they look down at my cleavage , I hit them in the head with this binder.”

“Man, that binder really hurt! I have a headache, now.”

“It’s simple Dong, you hit the right chord and I take my boot off your neck. Now, you can’t get much fairer that?

Dan tries to peek and see if he’s on Kent’s “Enemies to be Dealt With List.”