Friday, July 29, 2011
It’s Christmas in July once more! I received three mixes from Minnesota from Discount Romance’s second trip into Mystery Mammal Studios.
Daniel K. has done it again. Although, these are very rough mixes, because more instruments are going to be added, there’s an uptick in quality that brings a smile to a songwriter’s lips.
And not a moment too soon. Discount Romance will be back in the studio for final vocals on two songs. (Though, this time it will be Barry Fasman’s wonderful Sanctuary Sound. Don’t Tell Betsy has recorded all of their vocals with Mr. Fasman and he hasn’t let us down yet.)
And now the songs.
I Know It’s Only Love – The album opener. Keep in mind, these are all scratch vocals from an ailing singer. Carissa is getting much better and I’m really looking forward to getting to the next stage with these tunes. This was recorded on during out Saturday session.
The Road To Hannah – Because of the acoustic guitar, this was recorded on Sunday. Carissa sang this on a stool in the control room while Kent hogged the iso-booth with his delicate strumming. People seem to really like this song. Could it be our first hit???
Sweet Leaf – Our ode to pot the its habitués. We’ll be doing vocals for this come Sunday. The flip side to our first single. (Though, there are no flip sides anymore are there? Shame.)
Carrie’s Got A Lover – This is a mix with extra keys added by Death of the Author Brigade’s very own, Aaron T. We’re very thankful for his contribution to the song. This will be the first song finished and available for sale by Discount Romance. We’re recording the vocals on Sunday, so get your wallet’s ready!
And Now…..More Captioned Pictures!!!!
Because of Dong’s pain meds, he will occasionally drift off mid-song and dream he is in the Alps, wearing alfalfa underwear, trying to get Tyrolean goats to nibble at his testicles.
It’s sometimes very hard to be the only person in a band who’s a girl. It’s also very hard to be the only person in a band who’s wearing clothes.
Kent tells his favorite joke about a guy behind a Chinese restaurant having dumpster sex with a pig carcass.
Jason and Dan wait patiently for Carissa to drop something.
Kent looks down and notices he has drifter entrails stuck to the bottom of his shoe again.
It is a sad fact: The further you are back in the band, the harder it is to see down Carissa’s top when she bends over.
Dong hopes to, one day, have his severed knee bits in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame next to Michael Jackson’s nose parts and most of Eddie Van Halen’s tongue.
Dan holds his guitar like he holds a woman. That’s why most of his girlfriends need serious chiropractic therapy.
“Ewww! Somebody has written “Marry Me,” on my lyric sheet in licked-barbecue-chicken bits.”
Kent leaves rehearsal for an undisclosed Central American country that has some pesky democracy lovers.
Carissa helps copy out sections of Kent’s manifesto. Right now she’s working on a chapter called “When to Pull Out the Anus Blender.”
Jason tries to decide whether to have another beer first or throw up all over his drums right away.
Dan’s first experiment with a Thai Stick suppository was not a happy one.
“Dear guys: Having a lot of fun here in the States but if I do end up dead, it’s because I got Dong to drive me home.”
Thursday, July 28, 2011
This was a truly auspicious night. We actually had all the members of Discount Romance in one place…and semi sober!
Dong is still having problems with his knee, but he shows up like a trooper. He didn’t show up with his girlfriend though, so we made him walk up the 50 stairs on his crutches as punishment.
We’re working on the three final songs for our recording session in August. Things went pretty well. Nighttime Song and In the Mornin’ Time are really starting to take shape. The acoustic version of Everyone’s a Cowboy is sounding nice. Only the band version of Cowboy is still problematic. That’s why we’re going to back at in on Friday night.
We also decided upon the two songs we’re going to be recording the vocals for this weekend at Sanctuary Sound with the right honorable Barry Fasman. Carrie’s Got a Lover and Sweet Leaf got the call.
And…since Carissa was with us, I could take video!
Before we start, here’s a little video to show you why I’m behind the camera during rehearsals and not our lovely and talented singer.
And now for your entertainment pleasure, Discount Romance…
Nighttime Song – This is coming along very nicely. Probably the prettiest song we do. Made even prettier by Juan’s piano magic. This starts a little late because I couldn’t get the camera to do what I wanted. Every time I pushed start recording, the flash went off. Luckily, I got most of it.
The one mic wonder version:
In the Mornin’ Time – The country-rock feel is starting to emerge on this. I think it’s going to be a nice edition to the album.
The one mic wonder version:
Everyone’s a Cowboy – We only have the acoustic version. The band version is a work in progress. This is very nice. Plaintive. Those of you who are into women scratching their bare calves are going to be especially interested in the ending of the video!
The one mic wonder version:
And once again…..More Captioned Pictures!!!
This is Kent: Guitarist. His hobbies are baking bread, macramé and scalping Romanians.
Dan was once thrown out of a Christian band for writing a song where he rhymed, “Christ has arisen” with “Alka-Seltzer’s fizzin’.”
Kent is actually completely harmless…as long as his forearms have been Super-Glued together.
“Okay Carissa, you know you were wearing a dress over this slip when you got to rehearsal. What happened to it?"
“Jason looks on E-bay for a bass drum capable of holding a woman against her will.”
Dong is even more simpatico with his instrument now that his guitar and his knee are made out of the same wood.
Jason has a moment of silence. Shabby Road’s oldest cockroach was found dead behind the fridge. He may have been strangled for his stash of Ritz Cracker crumbs.
Carissa’s legs are the main reason the rest of the band brings syrup to each and every rehearsal.
“Number one: I didn’t touch that fucking cockroach, and number two: you can smell Cheez-It crumbs on my breath.”
Dan dreams of a far off land where women fuck with other parts of their body as much as they fuck with their hair.
“He seems so familiar. I’m sure he ruled my country with an iron fist a few years back.”
“Why is everyone looking at me like I’m a big stack of pancakes?”
“Man, if this finger were a pistol, they’d be pickin’ your pituitary out of Dong’s teeth.”
“Hey fuckheads! Let’s not forget who the eye candy is in this band. Which one of you ugly assholes is going to get me a fucking coke?”
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I’ve been banging around on some new tunes lately. I thought it might be time to put some of them up. Hopefully, a few will find a home with Discount Romance.
These are presented to you, the appalled public, so you can see the warts and all of the creative process. (And these are pretty big warts.) All multiplatinum albums start out as humble demos. These are really humble, so who knows what the final album will finally sell!
That Is What I Do – I had to record this sucker a ton of times. I was just trying to get the right feel for the song. It’s sort of a rockabilly type tune. You can’t tell that here, because I can’t play in any other rhythm than this one. You can hear my exasperation on the last couple of notes.
I Think of You – A lot of people say to me, “Vickers, you’re a comedy writer, why don’t you write more funny songs”. I have to follow my muse, but this is a less than serious tune.
For the Very First Time – Back to my lovey-dovey mood. Carissa was kind enough to like this one, so it will show up somewhere. (Me hopes)
And now!!!!!!!! More captioned pictures.
“It’s just a list I made. “The 27 things I’d like to do to you, if you were unconscious.”
“Hey sweetie, I think I found your liver behind Dan’s bass amp.”
“I’m not eating this whole bowl of candy. Just move on. There’s nothing to see here!”
"This thing is either a camera or a Taser. Just smile and let’s see what happens."
“Hey mom, I’m finally living my dream. I’m playing drums in a band and surrounded by filth and garbage.”
“Who keeps sending me these revolting, disgusting texts?”
“I am going cover your entire body in squid parts and watch aquatic birds peck you to ecstasy.”
“Does it seem fair to you that the “Disabled” get all those really great parking spots but the people who made them disabled get nothing?”
Dong isn’t smiling through the pain. He’s smiling because of what he just did in the elevator.
Dan suddenly remembers a boob he saw in 1994.
What Dong didn’t know was….Kent has always wanted to sucker punch a guy on crutches.